Crazy People

Had some excitement at church this morning.

I'm a teacher's assistant for the 2 and half and 3 year olds. We were in the middle of a class when this big built black dude rushes in and hands me flier and then rushes out. Cindy asked me if I knew him and I said, um, no. So she went into the hall and he came out of the supply room with a fire extinguisher, went into another classroom and traded it for a trash can and then told Kevin that the fire extinguisher was a bomb. Some of the men escorted him out of the building while Shauna called the police. He took off down the street before they got there but they found him. They said they knew about him and that he was having an 'episode'.

That was interesting. Hehe.

Currently: Singing silently.

I Killed My Plants

Didn't take them in the first night it was cold. They were so pretty. I tried to save them, but they don't look like they want to be saved.

I've officially been living here for a month. It's home. Still don't have my furniture. I need to kick my brother around a bit.

Today the power keeps going out for a second or two at a time. Like twice an hour. It's really windy today, but yeesh. I've given up reprogramming my clocks. I'll wait until this weather settles down.

It took me three weeks to complete my desk, and then I moved my computer in. It was so pretty for a day. Then I ordered cable and only one cable outlet in my apartment works. I bought a wireless thing, but it refuses to work for me. *cry* So now my desk is lonely and my computer sits on the floor of the living room.

I love this place, but I'm disliking more and more a few things about apartment living. I decided to move into an apartment because I didn't think I could handle the little things, like maintaining things that want to break and dealing with a septic tank and taxes and stuff. Not alone. But it seems I'm dealing with more and more issues here, and the management just brushes off my concerns. *kick* If I can't get some basic things fixed here this year, I'll just go buy a friggin' house. Whatever.

But besides that. It's beautiful here. I have a great view. It's quiet. And I absolutely love living with just my dogs... and I don't even need them, but you know, they're my babies. :P I miss my cat. :(

Oooh, and I'm about to get my concealed handgun license! Weeee.

Currently: Shopping for plants.

My Feet Hurt

Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow... My Feet Hurt... Ow Ow Ow Ow... I'm not gonna' make it. Ow Ow Ow Ow

I've got a new job, man. I'm a cashier at an electronic store. :3

Oh my gosh, my feet are hurting.

I want to put all my money right back into that store. Ha.

I am so upset. They tryin' to give my money to my Aunt. I have to call em' tomorrow. I hate when things happen at night when I can't do anything about it.

Did I mention my feet hurt?

Currently: My feet hurt! Shut up!

If One More Thing Breaks...

I'm surrounded by things that are... well, breaking! My universe is crumbling into millions of useless little pieces! Yeeesh.

Air Conditioner broke. Fixed it. Fridge broke. Fixed it. Washer broke. Fixed it. Broke again. Didn't fix it. I just sit on it and enjoy the thumpy ride during the spin cycle. Stove broke. Didn't fix it. Don't know how to fix it. I rarely employ professionals to fix things unless they're a friend. TV broke. Didn't fix it. It's a ten year old rear projection big screen. Love the thing but we're learning little tricks to get around all the craziness. Like using the VCR to reach channels higher than the number thirteen. (I mean really... thirteen channels... like those old ancient televisions that my grandmother still used until she died... how come my TV has psychically reached into the past to some cousin TV... to employ only those channels with numbers between 1-13.) Then I press the magic button every time I turn it on and once every hour to keep that loose red tube in the right place. Sink clogged. Worked for three hours but I fixed it. The vacuum cleaner broke! A Kirby! Mind you, a ten year old Kirby, but still. Grarrr.

Guess what broke today. My dish washer broke today. Today, my dish washer died. It won't drain the water. I used a mop to get all that water out and tried to unclog it, but no luck. Then I turned the thing on so as to fill it up with cleaner water in hopes of like... using the plunger on it or something. But the little spin thingy wouldn't spin. Then it started smoking. Oh come on! Did I hit the mop against something I shouldn't have?

Maybe I just didn't have it on the right setting. Now that I think about it, maybe I need to fiddle with the position of the positioner and see if it really was on the rinse cycle. It could have been on the steam cycle. That would make sense. o_O

That does make sense.

Steam... not smoke.

I'm stupid.

Still clogged, though.

Oh, and the internet isn't working tonight, either. Two of the blogs I like, livejournal and deadjournal, are out so I can't check on people there. deviantART is on read only mode, so I can't submit anything or check on the comments.

NEOPETS IS CLOGGED WITH TRAFFIC!... Three in the morning and it's clogged to a grinding halt. I've been trying to battle for an hour and even when I manage to finish a fight, it won't count towards my score. One hour and I have one measly point against the stupid Black Elm! I've yet to fight the Blathering Beech and the Savage Sycamore. Don't you just love those names? Yes... they're trees. I'm fighting trees. It's three in the morning and I'm trying to fight some trees and I can't because so many other people are trying to fight the trees, too. This is some very popular tree fighting we've got here.

Oh, and George got his hand caught in a press today. Cut the tips of his fingers off and crushed the bones. I'm praying for him and I hope you will too.

Currently: Going back to kick some trees' rear ends... wherever that may be.

Quickly Now Because I Haven't Much Time

Pfft.

I drove over to Louisiana all by my lonesome and got my car back. It was found in good condition behind a house in Bossier City. The brakes are complete mush and they junked out the inside with food wrappers and bread crumbs. -.- The only thing I know about the dude is that he spoke spanish (three spanish cds found), he's messy (grossness), and he's an idiot (he stole my car :P).

Mom's here with me now. She's on Hospice and I'm doing my best to keep her comfortable at home. It's a lot of work. I'm bored. I'm achey. And I'm a bit lonely. I'm keeping mom doped up on pain pills, so all I have for company is books. Mom gets tons of visitors, but they only stay a few minutes or they're trying to help with someone so that it just feels harried whenever someone is over. I still don't want to be online during the day even though I'm back home. There are so many phone calls, I can't see it being a good thing keeping the phone line busy.

You Are From Jupiter

You are exuberantly curious - and you love to explore newness. Enthusiastic and optimistic, you get a kick out of stimulating intellectual discussions. Foreign cultures and languages fascinate you. You love the outdoors, animals, and freedom. Chances are you tend to exaggerate, so try to keep a lid on that. If you do, you'll continue to be known for your confidence, generosity, and sense of justice.

What Planet Are You From?

You've Experienced 36% of Life

You have the life experience of someone in their early 20s. You've seen some of what life has to offer - but you have a long ways to go.

How Much Life Experience Do You Have?

Currently: Moping

Frosty Corn Balls

That's my breakfast cereal. o_O Mmmmkay.

A few days ago, while I was asleep, someone popped open a locked window in my Mom's bathroom. They went to my brothers room and stole ten dollars worth of change. Then they went to the living room, took the keys off the table beside my purse, walked out of the front door, and drove off with my car. In hindsight, I can remember the sound of the window being popped open. Like someone banging a hand against the glass real hard. I can also remember the sound of the change rattling around for a long time. I can remember the door opening and closing. But I never have, in all my life, been suspicious of strange sounds. I was asleep, sorta. I knew my brother was at work, sorta. But no sound short of voices would have caused me to think someone who shouldn't be in the house was there.

I have a nice rental but I miss my car. :( I especially miss my map book. It had everyone's houses and a whole lotta stuff marked in it. I was thinking about getting a new one and transferring that all over. Now it's gone. And my car was so nice. It was a luxury edition and it had a Lexus engine and it had a great sound system. And I loved loved loved the cruise control. It wasn't bulky and hard to mess with so I could use it even during stop and go traffic to save my hurt knee. I even filled the gas tank up the day before. *sigh* Please come back!

Currently: Saying less than I would so the bro can get on.

Steamyness Pshhhhh

It is SO HOT!!!!

It's like 105 outside and probably 99 inside... we have no insulation in this house and the temperature gauge doesn't go past 90, so I don't know.

What's really funny is the dogs. Buster has his mouth wide open, tongue hanging out, and keeps going back and forth to the fan and the water not quite deciding where he'd like to be. Cinnamon, the ever playful puppy, is rolling around on her back in front of the fan, legs all spread out like she's making and x, and taking nibbles at my toes.

I made a mermaid today. Go check it out at deviantart. XD

Mom's in the hospital again. Turns out she has diabetes. A normal range of blood sugar levels is like 90 to 160. 500 causes you to go into a diabetic coma. Mom was at 480. The last few days have been really hard taking care of her and we attributed her symptoms to her new drugs and chemo which she started last week. All that weakness, endless thirst, and uh.. other things was the diabetes. I think those symptoms actually started, though, a month ago. This is really not going to be fun. :/

Currently: Chatting

Cry Cry Cry

I'm living in gross gross grossness.

Everyday this week will be about getting up early, staying at the hospital or the cancer center for hours and hours, and then gross things. Repeated when necessary.

The following is gross.

Mom has a needle hanging out of her chest. She's not strong and is almost falling down all the time. In my head I keep picturing her falling... forward... moooooaaaaannnnn. I can't stand these stupid thoughts that won't go away. Cry. Plus with the even grosser things that happened last week. Geeyah.

/End gross.

So since I'll be spending five hours in a waiting room tomorrow... minimum... I went and bought the first harry potter book. I know dwaggie will be proud. Haha. *sigh*

Currently: Searching for a charger.

They're Retarded!

What is with the newsies attacking myspace lately? Every day it's "blah blah blah and is your kids in danger on myspace dot com?". Geeyah! Another classic example of annoying clueless reporters trying to stir up panic.

Why are they leaving livejournal, xanga, and blogger out of it? It says in the myspace terms that you aren't allowed to post personal info or nudity. Okay? All of these sites have similar terms. It's not myspace's fault that people choose to post this stuff. It's the user's fault. Just like it's not the gun's fault that someone chooses to shoot someone with it. It's not the knife's fault that someone chooses to stab someone with it. It's not the car's fault that someone chooses to run someone over with it. It's not McDonald's fault that someone chooses to over indulge and become a blimp from it. People want to blame everything else but themselves for their incredible stupidity.

Don't even get me started.

Currently: Coughing

The Deeper You Get

Disclaimer: The following is heavy in self-mopage and should be ignored. :P

I have this vision of a Vietnam soldier dude walking through a swampy rice field with his machine gun held above the water. The farther he goes to get out, the deeper he sinks until only his hands holding the gun are above the water... and there are bubbles... still moving forward... and then the bubbles stop.

What a lovely vision to have. But that's how I felt today going grocery shopping.

All day today I have been extremely moody. From tearing up over a stupid movie to being short fused over my the Mommy. I'm PMSing. So then Mom wants to go grocery shopping. She wouldn't write out a list, no, she has to come with. My mother can easily spend three hours buying milk. She's indecisive and she has to read the labels. With my mood and my back acting up, I was so not looking forward to it.

When I got there I had to pull her wheel chair out of the trunk, but I bent over wrong setting it on the ground so instant back pain. Didn't even get twenty pain free minutes.

Turning my buggy around in the toilet paper isle made my finger nail pull backwards. Ow.

While we were searching for dog treats I had a stress related twitch. My right leg wanted to kick backwards but the rubber of shoes kept my foot in place. This resulted in a mightily sharp pain in my knee cap.

Limping around the store caused my left calf to become stressed. This resulted in my right heel becoming itchy and painful. Then my left thigh started hurting. After that it was my right hip. That caught up to my achey tail bone and back. THEN I KNOCKED MY ELBOW AGAINST A SHELF!!!! This was not fun. I was limping around like some messed up weirdo, pushing a horribly heavy pull-to-the-right buggy, while ignoring the ever so many 'are you sure your okay?'s from my mother.

That's not even the worse that happened tonight, but I won't bore or gross you out with those details. Needless to say, it was a nightmare. Did I mention the mega sinus headache?

Currently: Recovering

Update On Me Life

I have nothing entertaining to tell at the moment. A little busy lately so a little neglectful. Haven't updated my blog or turned on AIM in days and days. *turns on AIM as she writes this*

I need to update my AIM name on here. It's NOT cinnamonlover anymore... I had that name all of two seconds. haha.

Mom has been going to radiation every week day morning. I stay up late at night and then I have to wake up to drive her there. My new hair cut is a mess. I don't have time to do anything with it before I leave and ALL of my headbands that I like are BROKEN! Don't they make any headbands for adults? Getting off track here. :P Radiation is no big deal. They put her mask on, bolt her down, and then point puple lights at her head for ten minutes. Then she's done. At the moment, she's doing thirteen treatments of whole brain radiation. Then they will make a new mask for her, blend some new scans together, and pin point the bigger lesions. She's on steroids for her swollen brain, and those make her act irrationally. Cursing and breaking glass have occured. Since she found out it was the steroids causing it, she's more aware of herself and isn't acting so mean anymore. Also, she has a spot of cancer on her lung and a spot on her liver. After the radiation they will do biopsies of these and make sure its still collon cancer before treating it with chemo. They flushed her metaport out and it still works fine although they can't draw any blood from it.

Cinnamon has always slept in a cage but now I've got Buster doing it too. He used to sleep with me but I don't want to deal with all his fur anymore or cause mites to invade my new mattress quickly. Neither are allowed in my room. We used to call my room Buster's room since he spent more time in there than I did. Hehe. He's getting older and doesn't have as much control over his business as he used to. The good thing is, he's more excited at night to enter his cage than Cinnamon. All I have to do is tap the cage and say 'bedtime' and he jumps up and runs in. I'm surprised. Hehe. Cinnamon just kinds of hangs back and looks away like, 'hmmm? I didn't hear anything'. She's so silly. I'm also thinking about getting a fifty dollar high pitch noise, dog bark control machine... thing. Life would be much more pleasant if they wouldn't freak out every time someone comes over. Grrr...

If you ever have the opportunity to get Net Zero, don't. You get less than what you pay for. Connection hangs of up to ten minutes happen at the very least, once an hour. Also, they hang up on you four hours on the dot, and if you step away from the computer for fifteen minutes, you'll come back to find it disconnected for 'security' purposes. They always launch IE when you sign on... to their home page. No option to turn that off. (I use Firefox, stupid!). And you have to watch a thirty second commercial that stays on top of everything every time you sign on. Let me tell you, when you are having trouble signing on and have to do so three or so times, those stupid commercials make me want to punch someone. Grrrrrr...

I've got all my inherited red glass collection out. We are going to be spending two hundred dollars to pack it all up good. There are twenty seven dessert dishes, twenty one dinner plates, tons of goblets of all shapes and sizes, pitcher, wine glasses, canisters, bowls, decorative things... just tons of lovely stuff. I'll have to decorate my dining room in red for the rest of my life. Haha!

I think that's it. Nah, but whatever. Zawzy.

Currently: Slaving over massive online projects... cuz' it is oh so fun!

Cleaning Out Za' Closet

Awaiting the arrival of my comfy, twin size, pillow top, bed tomorrow I decided to do some major spring style cleaning of my room. My trash can is filled to the brim with mementos of the past.

I have kept a souvenir from every official boyfriend I've ever had... as early as five years old. The shoe box that held these trinkets gave me a good laugh today... before joining the other junk in the ben out back. Haha. I had a brass bracelet with blackened cats holding hands from my first boyfriend. I was obsessed with cats back then. Haha. My second was two strings of yarn... probably for making those string finger designs or something. A brief fling at daycare while I dated boyfriend #1. LOL! From boyfriend #3 I had a piece of paper with a huge colored rose on it and a poem. Awww. Boyfriend #4 was a autographed school photo. Boyfriend #6 was a napkin from taco bell. Not exactly sure why. o_O. My last boyfriend, Boyfriend #7, was a styrofoam cup with love notes written all over the side... oh, and our engagement ring. Don't worry, it was probably worth about five bucks. Piece of crap. And I dumped him two weeks later. Haha.

Which reminds me... I saw his wife today.

We went up to the Imaging place and picked up Mom's MRIs. Very interesting. I had just been studying sinuses yesterday, so it was really weird to suddenly see all her sinuses and, uh, brains. If you've ever seen an MRI from the top of the head looking down, round about where the eyes are, you'd be going ooooh and aaaaah too. It's really freaky to see white olives floating in front of long muscles floating in front of a brain. Yeah.

So Mom has six identified masses. I could pick out four of them. Over the top of her head towards the right, she has a wide flat mass, very thin but covers a good portion of her brain. On the right side of her head right above her jaw joint (which is why they kept thinking she had TMJ... and why, when her brain would swell, it would push her teeth down) she has one mass that is 1.8cm x 1.6cm. Farther back of that is the largest mass. It's above and behind her right ear. It is 3.6cm x 2.8cm. Yikes. That is huge. :/ And then on the left side of her head, above her left ear, is a mass that is 1.5cm x 1.4cm. It's pretty much all over her brain.

Some time this week she'll start radiation therapy. They doubled the dosage of her swollen brain pills, and she's finally feeling better.

Currently: Playing with gauze.

Ten More Days

Just ten more and I'll be the big two-enty two. Whoop doop dee doo.

It's a tradition. Go eat at Applebees, see a movie, get yelled at, and cry. That's been my birthday since I was like... sixteen. Eh, had to be older than that. Yo, Melissa, how old were we when we met? Went to your surprise bday party, then two months later we were best friends, then a few months after that, we got 'mentors', and that's about when I discovered Applebees. LOL!

Applebees is the last addition to the birthday tradition. Seeing a movie started around 13... Getting yelled at started around 10... And the crying thing has been going on since kindergarten. Haha.

And each time I cry, it is for a totally different reason. My dad giving me the bday spankings happened every year I was at his house for the day. My boyfriend, whatever his name was, Matthew or something, was mean to me one year. No one showed up to my eleventh birthday party. Haha! Uhmmm... broke my pinky toe tripping over a trampoline. Sprained my ankle at someone's house... I don't know. You get the point... something always makes me cry on my birthday.

... And I won't even get into the subject of the yelling.

Currently: Looking for shiny sea shells and toy boats.

So Much To Gossip About

But you know I never hear and tell, so that's out.

There really isn't that much to talk about (besides the juicy gossip). My life is at a stand still. I spend much of my time chatting with my friends on Neopets and Gaia and a few other great forums. I now have Firefox 1.5. I love that you can reorder tabs. I don't love that Curacao is not compatible and I've had to switch to Red Cats Blue Flavor. I couldn't handle a color switch. Must always be blue.

I bought a Prima Strategy Guide to Pharaoh... and I've never seen such a badly written, disgustingly unorganized guide. I'm half way through with it, and I've learned exactly three things which is nice. You know I had gotten the Chronicles of Narnia for Christmas. I read all but the last book in only two weeks. Now I can't seem to get back into it. I absolutely love every book I've read, but the first few chapters of The Last Battle has really turned me off. I can't stand that ape. Someone please tell me it gets better than that! Maybe I'll be able to finish reading it if I knew it got better.

Did I mention that Cinnamon's website has been updated? Yeah. And I'll have to take some more pictures next month and update it. The cat is sick... again... worse than ever. We bought some antibiotics for him... same as we used last time. He really is a mess. He's sneezing all over the place, his eyes are draining, and when he sleeps, he snores. I keep thinking my brother is sleeping on the couch behind me. Who knew my brother and a sick cat have the same exact snore?

I've recently got into a new comic. Well, it's not new, but I'm new to it. Sam and Fuzzy. Check it out. Be sure to read up on the archives, cuz' the ninja stuff is priceless.

I'll have to add links to the things I've mentioned in this entry later, as this posting thing refuses to completely load... the whole top bar is missing. No spell check either, so sorry for all the wrong spellingzes. Also, I won't be able to enlarge my first paragraph and shrink the last, either. Where is my top bar!!!???!!!

EDIT: Top bar finally back and I went link crazy. :D Please note that some of these links are just stupid... but funny.

You know that background music I used to have? Well, the site said it would come back online soon, but that was a few months ago. I don't think it's coming back. *cry* I'll probably upload some midis I made to a free file host. Don't expect it too soon, though. I'm going to procrastinate on that for awhile. Who knew you could plan procrastination?

Currently: Er... Organizing.

You Know Uru

I've been playing Uru - Ages Beyond Myst.

It's nice. The visuals are great, the sound is fine, and the concept is intriguing... but what's the point? It's like looking at a sci-fi art book. The puzzles aren't fun, only annoying... and once you leave the entrance level, you have no guidance whatsoever. Just a vague concept of putting your hand on seven magic pieces of cloth hanging here and there.

It gets really stupid when they say there are seven journeys (that's what they call their magic cloth) in the desert... it's supposed to be something ancient, and yet one of them is hanging off the back of an RV and another on the back of a no trespassing sign.

My advice: Never play this game.

Weight: 185lbs

Today, In History

So, I've got a new freak of an admirer. He just keeps turning around to smile at me.

Quit looking at weirdo!

Weight: 185lbs

Nuttin'

So, um, busy week. Whatever.

Grrr... Most of post deleted :P

So.... Grrr.

Weight: 185lbs

And He'll Soon Come Back

He left a cryptic message for me.

He said something about never being able to get my camera to work so he couldn't take any pictures of the dolphins. Does that, per chance, mean he broke my camera? Did he put the batteries in correctly? Is he too stupid to know how to turn the thing on? I guess I won't know until five o'clock this evening when he said he'd be home.

Hmmm... I should probably change my background song. It's been on for too long. I love coldplay and that is one of my favorites of his. I can never get tired of hearing it, but that is not to say others won't. So, what next? Aliens Exist or Oceania? I think I'll try out Blink 182 first. I intended to change the song every week. What happened?

So? Sho sho.

Weight: 185lbs

Mmmmm... Worms

The brother and his friends left last night to head for the gulf coast.

They're going on a fishing trip and they took my digital camera. I just know they are going to break it. Grrrr... He breaks everything he borrows from me.

Weight: 185lbs

The Bull Dog Obsession

Bull Mastiffs are the latest thing going on over here.

Everyone in my neighborhood suddenly has one. Even my brother is trying to get one. I love bully breeds. I really do. But all these bull dogs keep getting out of their yards.... and they're all female! Buster is going nuts. He smells them in the air and as soon as the front door is cracked... he's out and trying to jump on a bull dog!

I really hope all these new bull dog owners know what they're doing. Socialization and "off switch" commands are a must. There is a real sweetie down the street, but I doubt she's being trained correctly. She gets out the most, too.

I wish I could pop my brother and his friends upside the head. Hehe. They are constantly going in and out all day and they never pay attention to Buster. Do they have to go get him when he gets out? No! I do. Then, there he is... trying to play with another loose Mastiff.

Weight: 185lbs