Do You Ever Get The Feeling That...

... people around you are just dropping like flies?

My Granny died this morning. I didn't know her very well, though, so I can't say I'm mega upset about it. It's more upsetting thinking about how I could have made a better effort to know her... which really isn't true. I did what I could. I wrote her letters that she never would return only to hear a few months later, through some relative, that she was still working on answering some small question I had asked her. It's more upsetting thinking about the efforts she went through to have close relationships with all of my cousins and not remembering any specific effort she made to know me or my brother. It's more upsetting thinking about how much more upset I should be.

And then there is my inheritance. I've been worried sick about it for years and now it's here. You see, I'm getting something very special. I've always admired it since I was small. I told her so. That's why she gave it to me. So many years ago, when she was writing up her will, she asked me if I really wanted it and I eagerly accepted. The problem is, there is just so much of it. Her antique, ruby red glassware fills up every room of her house.

In the living room, there is a huge oak display case along one wall filled with it. Then there is a dresser along another wall with two huge, beautiful, ruby red glass lanterns on it. Two drawers hold dinner plates. In the kitchen, above the cabinets, are many various items. The breakfast table has several candle holders and a desk is filled with dessert dishes. In her huge dining room, along two walls, are built-in display cabinets. These hold every possible dinner item for every possible type of dinner, all in ruby red glassware, and enough of every item to feed a hundred people. Several other beautiful things are here and there throughout the house.

These things go very well with her large country home and her stylistic choices. They are not overbearing and are, in fact, barely noticeable. When you do notice them, you can't help but admire them. Everyone does.

The problem is that my house is less than half the size of hers. The problem is that my room is smaller than her breakfast nook. Another big problem is that all of my uncle and grandparents' things are packed up in boxes and filling every available corner and room of this house. I really can't deal with this. I may even be getting her genealogical collection, which is, in itself, not huge... but overwhelming.

It's especially upsetting thinking about things, instead of the people I've lost.

Weight: 185lbs